I'm so numb.
Nobody even notices me anymore.

 i don't know what happened.
i wish i could fix you.

 my aspirations
what aspirations 
no knowledge of where i'm going
don't remember where i've been
can't i go a day without knowing
evaporation of time the clock is glowing
escape
i can't escape

 i don't fucking KNWORW 
ugh 
i feel so 
restless
and indecisive.
fjkldsjf;slkdfs
d
i know i'm not happy.

I'm seriously going to try. I'm actually going to save money and i'm actually going to get the fuck out of here.
 

I got this from my xanga from 2005. I was 15 lol. This is interesting. 

I've been noticing a lot lately that people don't seem to understand how amazing they are. A lot of my friends and people around me even, I see them, and they have so much fucking potential. They're smart, or talented, or somthing about them sticks out to me. Even people I don't like. Things about them just make me smile. I don't understand why everyone has to doubt themselves all the time. Why I have to doubt myself all the time. There are little girls in the world who can go out completely unmatched, have the messiest hair, and have skinned their knees, but you see them and you smile. They're beautiful. They're so significant. Such a masterpeice. Every fucking person is a masterpeice. The decisions and choices we make in life make what we are in the future. What if we thought before we acted? Think about what could happen. What if Jimi Hendrix hadn't decieded to pick up a guitar? What if Thomas Edison decieded to live life taking from others for himself? What if those who affected our lives so much decieded to be different than they were? Even your mother and father. No matter what they've done in their lives. Alive or dead, there for you, or left you. They created you. What if they hadn't? Someone supported you. What if they hadn't choose to? What if they just left you for dead? What if you weren't alive? Some people say they'd rather be dead. That their life is miserable, and that they don't care what happens to them. They're lying. They're just as scared to die as you. They don't understand that life is what YOU make it. You can fucking change. You can make things better. You can change the way your life is heading. Stop blaming everyone else. Stop blaming your parents. Stop blaming people who have done you wrong. The past is set in stone. The future is there in the chisel you hold. Make the most of it. I can't stand thinking about the girls and boys of today growing up with no hope of a future because of how people are acting today. The world isn't bad. The people in it aren't bad. Have you ever even thought about all the good? There are people that risk their lives on a daily basis for other people. For you. For making your life better. Even if they do it for a living, its probably not the only reason they do it. There is good in everyone. There is good in you. You have potential. You can do what ever you want with your life. Don't fucking give up. I'm not going to. I'm tired of people being sad. Being lonely and confused. Do some good for other people. Be a friend. Be a parent. Do what you do best. If its good enough for you, thats all that matters. Don't try to live to please other people. Thats not fucking right. Set a good example for the people who will be taking care of you when you're old, the children of today, because right now their future is pretty damn gloomy.

 my life is an absolute MESS.

You are so pissy lately.
I try and do and say the right things,
but I never say the right thing.
I don't know how to make you happy,
when you're away from me. 

 So my dumbass mom's boyfriend's daughter just fucked up all of our lives. I hope she's happy.
Now I'm looking for a place to live ASAP.

 i wish someone would throw a party..

 i wish i could drink my life away like everyone else.

 halloween.
doesn't feel like it man.
;/

Supposedly if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. There are 270 films on this list. Copy it, paste it into a new post and then put x's next to the films you've seen. Add them up and post at the bottom. Have fun!

[ ] 13 Going on 30
[ ] 21 Grams
[x] 28 days later
[x] 28 weeks later
[ ] 50 First Dates
[ ] A Beautiful Mind
[ ] A Bronx Tale
[ ] A Cinderella Story
[x] A Walk to Remember
[ ] Airplane

Total so far: 3

[x] Along Came Polly
[x] American Beauty
[x] American History X
[x] American Pie
[x] American Pie 2
[x] American Wedding
[x] American Pie Band Camp
[x] AnchorMan
[x] Anger Management
[ ] Animatrix

Total so far: 12

[ ] Army of Darkness
[x] Bad Boys
[x] Bad Boys 2
[ ] BASEketball
[ ] Bedazzled
[ ] Best Bet
[ ] Big Trouble in Little China
[ ] Blazing Saddles
[ ] Blood Diamond
[x] Boogeyman

Total so far: 15

[x] Boondock Saints
[x] Bourne Identity
[x] Bourne Supremacy
[ ] Bourne Ultimatum
[x] Bride of Chucky
[x] Brokeback Mountain
[x] Butterfly Effect
[ ] Calendar Girls
[x] Catch Me If You Can
[ ] Chicago

Total so far: 22

[x] Children of the Corn
[x] Child's Play
[x] Christine
[x] Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
[ ] The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
[ ] Club Dread
[ ] Coach Carter
[ ] Crash
[ ] Cruel Intentions
[ ] Cruel Intentions 2

Total so far: 26

[ ] Cujo
[x] Curious George
[x] Darkness Falls
[x] Dawn Of the Dead
[x] Deep Impact
[x] Devils Rejects
[ ] Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
[x] Dumb & Dumber
[x] Dumber & Dumberer
[x] Eight Crazy Nights

Total so far: 34

[x] Elf
[x] ET
[ ] Event Horizon
[x] Ever After
[x] Evil Dead
[x] Evil Dead 2
[x] Fight Club
[x] Final Destination
[x] Final Destination 2
[x] Final Destination 3

Total so far: 42

[x] Finding Nemo
[ ] Finding Neverland
[x] Flubber
[x] Forrest Gump
[x] Freaky Friday
[x] Ghost Ship
[ ] Gladiator
[x] Gothika
[x] Grease
[x] Grease 2

Total so far: 50

[x] Hannibal
[x] Harry Potter 1
[x] Harry Potter 2
[x] Harry Potter 3
[x] Harry Potter 4
[x] Hellboy
[ ] High Tension
[x] Highlander
[x] Highlander II
[ ] Highlander III

Total so far: 58

[x] Hook
[x] Hostel
[x] House of 1000 Corpses
[x] How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
[ ] Hulk
[ ] I Am Sam
[ ] I Spit on Your Grave aka The Day of the Woman
[x] I, Robot
[x] Ice Age
[x] Ice Age 2: The Meltdown

Total so far: 65

[ ] Ice Castles
[x] Independence Day
[ ] Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
[x] Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
[ ] Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
[x] Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
[ ] Indochine
[x] Jeepers Creepers
[x] Jeepers Creepers 2
[x] Joe Dirt

Total so far: 71

[ ] Joy Ride
[ ] Just Married
[x] Kill Bill vol 1
[x] Kill Bill vol 2
[x] King Kong - The original
[ ] Kingdom of Heaven
[x] KingPin
[ ] K-PAX
[ ] Krippendorf's Tribe
[ ] Kung Fu Hustle

Total so far: 75

[ ] L4yer Cake
[x] Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
[x] Lilo & Stitch
[ ] Little Black Book
[ ] Lone Star
[x] Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
[x] Lord of the Rings: Return Of the King
[x] Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
[ ] Lucky Number Slevin
[x] Magnolia

Total so far: 81

[x] Maid in Manhattan
[x] Mars Attacks
[x] Meet The Parents
[x] Meet the Fockers
[ ] Million Dollar Hotel
[ ] Miracle on 34th street - The original
[x] Monsters Inc.
[ ] Monty Python and the Holy Grail
[ ] Mortal Kombat
[x] Mothman Prophecies

Total so far: 87

[x] My Bosses Daughter
[ ] Mystic River
[x] Napoleon Dynamite
[x] Never Been Kissed
[x] Neverending Story
[ ] Night Watch
[x] Nightmare on Elm Street
[x] Ocean's Eleven
[ ] Ocean's Twelve
[ ] Ocean's Thirteen

Total so far: 93

[x] Old School
[ ] Orgazmo
[x] Passport to Paris
[ ] Pay it forward
[ ] Phantasm
[x] Pirates of the Caribbean
[x] Pirates of the Caribbean 2
[x] Pirates of the Caribbean 3
[x] Practical Magic

Total so far: 99

[x] Predator I
[x] Predator II
[ ] Re-Animator
[ ] Red Dragon
[ ] Reign of Fire
[x] Remember the Titans
[x] Resident Evil 1
[x] Resident Evil 2
[x] Robots
[x] Rocky Horror Picture Show

Total so far: 106

[x] Rush Hour
[x] Rush Hour 2
[x] Saw
[x] Saw II
[x] Saw III
[x] Saw IV
[x] Scary Movie
[x] Scary Movie 2
[x] Scary Movie 3
[x] Scary Movie 4

Total so far: 116

[x] Scream
[x] Scream 2
[x] Scream 3
[ ] Secret Window
[x] Seed of Chucky
[ ] Shaolin Soccer
[ ] Shaun Of the Dead
[ ] She's All That
[x] Shrek
[x] Shrek 2
[ ] Shrek 3

Total so far: 122

[ ] Sideways
[x] Signs
[x] Silence of the Lambs
[x] Sixteen Candles
[x] Sky High
[x] Spider-Man
[x] Spider-Man 2
[x] Spider-Man 3

Total so far: 129

[x] Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
[x] Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
[x] Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
[x] Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
[x] Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
[x] Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
[ ] Starsky and Hutch
[ ] Surviving X-MAS
[x] Swimfan
[ ] Taxi Driver

Total so far: 136

[ ] Team America: World Police
[x] The 40-year-old Virgin
[ ] The Cider House Rules
[x] The Day After Tomorrow
[ ] The Deer Hunter
[x] The Departed
[x] The Fog
[x] The Godfather
[ ] The Godfather II
[ ] The Godfather III

Total so far: 141

[x] The Grinch
[x] The Grudge
[x] The Grudge 2
[x] The Hills Have Eyes
[x] The Hot Chick
[ ] The Insider
[ ] The Jacket
[ ] The Last House on the Left
[ ] The Last King of Scotland
[ ] The Life of David Gale

Total so far: 146

[x] The Lizzie McGuire Movie
[x] The Mask
[x] Son Of The Mask
[x] The Matrix
[x] The Matrix Reloaded
[x] The Matrix Revolutions
[x] The Notebook
[ ] The Passion of the Christ
[ ] The Piano
[x] The Princess Bride

Total so far: 154

[x] The Princess Diaries
[x] The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
[x] The Ring
[x] The Ring 2
[ ] The Shawshank Redemption
[ ] The Skulls
[ ] The Terminal
[x] The Terminator
[x] Terminator 2
[x] Terminator 3

Total so far: 161

[ ] The Usual Suspects
[x] The Village
[x] The Wedding Singer
[x] The Whole Nine Yards
[x] The Whole Ten Yards
[ ] There Will Be Blood
[x] Titanic
[ ] Top Gun
[ ] Universal Soldier
[ ] Waiting for Guffman

Total so far: 166

[ ] Walk The Line
[x] War of the Worlds
[x] Waterworld
[x] White Chicks
[x] White Noise
[ ] White Oleander
[x] Willard
[x] Wizard of Oz
[ ] Wolf Creek
[x] X-Men
[x] X-Men 2
[x] X-Men 3

Total: 175

YOU have no life ceileidh? lol I have no life at all.

i'll just pretend i don't miss you 
and pretend rather, to be mad
at you for leaving me.
i love you.
iloveyou.
ily.

<333
i'll see you next week baby.

 fuck everything, seriously....

 
This movie is fucking amazing.
Seriously.
I can't stand how funny and scary it is. <33333333333
And I miss my boyfriend. :(
I can't wait till we get our fricken apartment. 
ily

 I'm sitting here with my baby and I love him....
I love you!!! 

 Mike should be here in a few hours.
Incredibly excited. :DD:D:DD
<33

Everyone I was in class with, all the kids my age.
They're all growing up, driving, what not.
I feel like I'm a kid...

 It's 11 am and I'm sitting at home watching Scary SciFi movies....
I'm so fucking lonely it's absolutely ridiculous.
The lady with the nice place for Mike and I to live 
was supposed to call him last night and she didn't. 
I'm really worried....this would be the PERFECT place
for Mike and I to live. I can't sit here and do nothing
it's like torture. 

dsfahksdsa

Harry, Brenda, my mom, and I all had a surprisingly good talk yesterday...
We talked about property values and cool houses, 
me moving away, how Cindy our landlord is selling our house so 
we have to move anyway.
Also apparently Harry saved his ex-girlfriend from a burning car after she hit it
when she was drunk......lol. I was like HOLY SHIT.


But yeah I'm going to get out of here.
I'm going to.
Ugh. 
This movie is distracting me, 
so bbl.